“Obedient, Not Disciplined”: Entrepreneur’s Take on Indian Parenting Sparks Online Debate
“Obedient, Not Disciplined”: Entrepreneur’s Take on Indian Parenting Sparks Online Debate
The Indian middle class doesn’t raise disciplined kids. It raises obedient ones. There’s a difference.
A recent LinkedIn post by Aryan Kochhar, a Delhi-based entrepreneur and CEO of FinFloww, has stirred a heated conversation about parenting styles in India’s middle class. His central claim? That Indian parents are raising children to be obedient rule-followers rather than self-disciplined individuals — and it may be holding them back.
“The Indian middle class doesn’t raise disciplined kids. It raises obedient ones. There’s a difference,” Kochhar wrote in the now-viral post.
He argued that from a young age, children are taught to focus on marks, follow instructions, and crack entrance exams — but not necessarily to think independently, take risks, or solve real-world problems. According to him, this results in a generation conditioned to seek approval rather than build confidence or creativity.
Kochhar also linked this mindset to the fixation on prestigious institutions and companies — like IIT, IIM, or FAANG — suggesting that many pursue these names more for the external validation they offer than for the learning experience itself.
“The Indian middle class doesn’t raise disciplined kids. It raises obedient ones. There’s a difference. Discipline is internal. It’s about self-direction. Obedience is external. It’s about fear of consequences. We were trained to follow rules, not question them. To chase marks, not mastery. To clear exams, not solve problems,” he adds in the post.
“And that’s why even the smartest kids grow up lost. They can crack JEE – but can’t take a bet on themselves. They can solve case studies – but can’t handle uncertainty,” Kochhar said further.
The post has sparked a wide range of reactions online. While some praised Kochhar for voicing a long-standing concern, others pushed back, defending the value of structure and discipline in a competitive environment.
The debate touches on broader questions about education, success, and how parenting can adapt to a changing world.
“No doubt why Indians will reach the second-highest post in any company, we are the best at following roadmaps, rarely creating ones,” was one of the comments.
“Just like you have learned to be obedient, you can learn to be fearless and disciplined as well. It comes with a lot of inner work, but your life is yours to make,” says another user.
