Why Pre-Marital Counselling Should Be Mandatory in India’s Changing Marriage Landscape

Trust, communication, mutual respect, and emotional maturity are what truly sustain a marriage.

Divorce rates in India are climbing, and while the reasons are complex, one truth is becoming more evident: people, especially women, are no longer willing to suffer in silence. Women today are empowered, financially independent, and confident in walking away from unhealthy marriages. They’re choosing peace overpressure, clarity over compromise—and that’s a sign of progress.

How many of us pause to ask, “Am I emotionally and mentally prepared for marriage?” We focus so much on the wedding day that we forget to prepare for the life that follows it.

This is why pre-marital counselling needs to become non-negotiable.

Marriage Isn’t Just About Love

Trust, communication, mutual respect, and emotional maturity are what truly sustain a marriage. And these don’t come automatically. They require understanding, effort, and sometimes, guidance.

If we know that marriage demands so much more than romantic feelings, why aren’t we preparing couples for this lifelong commitment?

Indian Marriages: A Union of Families, Not Just Individuals

In the Indian context, you don’t just marry a person—you marry their family, traditions, beliefs, and lifestyle. It’s a social merger, not just a personal one. And often, these two families come with entirely different value systems. That’s why pre-marriage counselling is even more critical here—it helps couples understand what they’re stepping into beyond just love and compatibility.

Misaligned Expectations: A Hidden Deal-Breaker

One of the top reasons marriages falter is mismatched or unspoken expectations.

Who’s handling the finances?

What does intimacy mean for each partner?

Are we living with parents or independently?

How do we divide house responsibilities?

What are our boundaries with extended family?

These may seem like minor issues but left unspoken, they can snowball into serious conflict. While some advocate for live-in relationships as a trial run, that’s still not widely accepted in Indian society. Pre-marital counselling is a culturally sensitive and practical alternative—it allows couples to confront these issues head-on.

It’s a chance for couples to align on their definition of marriage, clarify roles, and understand each other beyond surface-level compatibility.

The Diversity Factor: One Country, Many Realities

India’s cultural and religious diversity adds another layer of complexity. When two people from different backgrounds get married, they bring their own perspectives, traditions, and life experiences. Without communication, this can lead to misunderstandings. Pre-marital counselling can bridge those gaps before they widen.

Questions Every Couple Should Ask Before Saying “I Do”

Pre-marriage counselling helps address key questions that couples often overlook:

Is this physical attraction or genuine, long-term compatibility?

Can I accept this person’s flaws along with their strengths?

Do we align emotionally, practically, and financially?

What are our personal and professional goals—and do they complement each other?

How do we handle conflict?

What roles do we expect each other to play in daily life and within the family?

These aren’t just tough questions—they’re essential ones.

When Should Counselling Happen—Before or After Marriage?

While post-marriage counselling can be helpful, especially in difficult phases, pre-marriage counselling is like a blueprint for what’s ahead—it won’t solve every problem, but it helps you see them coming.

Final Thought: Prepare for the Marriage, Not Just the Wedding

Pre-marriage counselling isn’t about pointing out flaws—it’s about building a foundation. In a country where weddings are treated like festivals, it’s time we give equal attention to what happens after the lights dim and the guests leave.

Let’s normalize asking for help. Let’s make preparation—not just celebration—a part of our culture. Because a few sessions of honest conversation now can save years of confusion, heartache, and emotional strain later.